You don’t want to think anymore, you just want to forget, and dance, and not do anything, and you want someone to hold your hand until it’s over, so you take things and drink things and smoke things that help, but still no one is holding you hand, you’re all alone and you’re facing this great big thing and you can’t fight it off, not this time, because it’s never been this bad.
So you do things. You write things and paint things and cook things and watch movies and develop opinions and become an activist and you’re so fucking vocal and everyone is so impressed with how well-rounded you are, I mean you’re only twenty, that’s really something, and you smile and talk to them about it and they think you’re so happy."
And instead of trying to match homeless people up with one of the 24 empty homes available for every homeless person
What a fucked up world we live in.
this graphic, while adorable and well intentioned, is confusing gender with gender identity. i think that this distinction is important in order to really understand things like sexism, transgender, transphobia, and even intersex.
gender is a set of ideals and expectations that society imposes upon people based on their perceived sex. got a vagina (or do you look like you have one because of your high cheek bones or breasts or hips etc)? then it’s pinkness and weakness and daintiness and dresses for you. got a penis (or do you look like you have one because of your broad shoulders, flatter chest, and taller height)? then it’s blue and rough and strong and active with short hair and pants for you.
gender IS very much a stupid pink and blue binary that puts you into one of 2 boxes based on how other people perceive your sex. that’s why you’ll hear feminists talk about how “gender is a social construct”. gender is a social class created by people and imposed upon you beginning at birth — and that’s part of why it’s bullshit. gender is also bullshit because it exists to maintain a hierarchy that values men/maleness/masculinity over the “inferior” [social category] of women/femaleness/femininity. enter sexism and sex-based oppression. in case you were doubting that gender is a social category created by people, keep in mind that some societies have 3 or 4 or 5 genders. (side note: gender should not be confused with sex, which refers to roughly defined categories of genitalia, hormonal levels, chromosomes, etc. how we categorize someone’s sex is also a social construct. for example, when a baby is born with ambiguous genitalia, parents will often arbitrarily choose the sex their baby resembles more. the intersex child is thusly raised as either a boy or a girl. and we’re back to gender again — a social construct based on perceived sex.)
i digress. all of the above is the reason why gender identity is highly varied. gender itself is not highly varied because it’s a binary social class. the fact is, people do not fit into those two boxes. our identities and understanding of ourselves is not 2 dimensional. there are many personal, real, and valid ways to understand one’s own gender beyond the binary that society enforces. our understanding of our own gender is shaped by biological and social factors (nature and nurture, for the psych nerds) and results in the self-concept that is gender identity. despite this fluidity, society wants you to only have the gender identity it assigns to you: man or woman. this compulsory gender identification system is the result of cissexism - or the belief that you must have a gender identity that matches your perceived sex. and if you identify otherwise? enter transphobia - or discriminatory treatment based on one’s gender identity.
transphobia may also be rooted in gender expression. gender expression is how we choose to present ourselves to the world, in any combination of ways which are deemed feminine/masculine/androgynous by society. those whose gender expression does not comply with what is deemed appropriate for their perceived sex have historically been subject to discrimination and violent attacks — especially those whose sex is perceived as “male”, but who are women and/or express their gender in a very feminine way. this is the result of transphobia colliding with misogyny and is sometimes referred to as transmisogyny.
gender roles are moreso rooted in sexism than transphobia. gender roles refer to the behaviors people are expected to have based on their perceived sex (roughly works out to male roles=dominant and active while female roles=submissive and passive).
damn yall if it aint confusing as shit
I am in a deep, dark place.
Some of the tweets that struck me from #yesallwomen